ShamWow Guy Beats Up Cannibal Hooker

Vince Shlomi, best known as television's ShamWow! guy, was arrested in Miami last month. For beating up a prostitute. Who allegedly tried to bite his tongue out. Did you know that? Now you do.

The Smoking Gun got hold of the police report and Mr. Shlomi's mug shot, and as you can see, he didn't escape unscathed. But neither did she. The facts of the case, briefly, according to the police report:

* Shlomi meets Sasha Harris in a Miami club. They go back to his hotel.
* She propositions him for "straight sex." He pays her a thousand bucks in cash.
* He kisses her.
* She "bit his tongue and would not let go."
* He punches her in her face repeatedly until she lets go.
* He runs down to the hotel lobby.
* They both get arrested.

Sham. Wow.

Gary called Howard today

Howard took a call from Gary the Retard who said he was in Vegas last weekend. He said that Zolar set him up out there. Howard asked him if he can gamble out there. Gary said he could but he didn't have any money. Howard said that he could easily be fleeced doing that so he's not sure if it's right to let retarded people gamble.

Gary said that he can do it if he wants. Howard asked him if he knows what gambling is. Gary said he did and he knows that you play for money. Gary said that he would play the nickel slots when he would gamble. Gary said he once won $48. Gary said he knows that you need to match up some numbers there.

Howard said that yesterday they asked him what a royal flush was and he thought it was bowling. Howard asked him if he knows what it is today. Gary didn't know.

Gary said that Miss Howard Stern keeps getting on the phone with him and she keeps telling him that she doesn't want to be with ''Zolark.'' Gary said that he's not treating her very well and he doesn't want her around him anymore. Gary said that he's heard that Zolar ties Miss Howard Stern to the radiator and she wants to get away from him.

Gary said that he went out to Las Vegas and it cost him $380 to go out there. Howard said he thinks that Gary wants to have Miss Howard Stern but that's never going to happen. Howard said that they'll have to have the two of them down there sometime. Howard thanked Gary for calling in and Gary got in a little bit of a huff and coughed as he was hanging up.

The Dirty Twig Show has joined Syndicate

The Dirty Twig Show will debut March 9,2009 on www.syndicateradio.tv
Welcome to the family you bunch of crazy mutha fuckers


So i talked to my guys and they are down like syndrome. We are gonna light the syndicate on fire!! - Dirty Twig

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